


Until I met you

by orphan_account



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Bad Parenting, Bisexual Sylvain Jose Gautier, Developing Friendships, F/F, Felix Hugo Fraldarius is Bad at Feelings, Felix Hugo Fraldarius pushing everyone away, Fluff, M/M, Mutual Pining, No Spoilers, Or better the outcome of said bad parenting, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Romance, Slow Burn, Strangers to Lovers, Sylvain Jose Gautier Being A Mess, They're not childhood friends in this story, commitment issues, no beta we die like Glenn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-24
Updated: 2020-05-02
Packaged: 2021-03-01 03:14:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 9,562
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23288362
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Sylvain is wasting his time in college screwing around with girls,not feeling ready to settle for anything serious.Felix is pushing people away altogether,not letting anyone grow close to him.When they first run into each other,they have no idea what's ahead of them. They have no idea that what is coming is going to be exactly what both of them need.
Relationships: Dorothea Arnault/Ingrid Brandl Galatea, Felix Hugo Fraldarius/Sylvain Jose Gautier
Comments: 8
Kudos: 20





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> What better things to do at 2am than to write Sylvix?
> 
> That's right,there is nothing better than writing Sylvix.
> 
> Thanks for coming to my Ted Talk.

Sylvain had always felt pretty comfortable admitting his liking for girls. And,for the longest time,that had been all. Sure,he was able to admit when another guy was attractive,but it had never gone deeper than that. During his high school years he ran through a few girlfriends,once college started,it turned into shorter and shorter relationships until he eventually ended up engaging in nothing more than a one night stand here and there. He felt more comfortable that way. Not having to commit to anyone. Noone to tell him what to do- and what not to. Not having to meet up to any expectations. He enjoyed that kind of freedom. For most people it would have seemed like he was just a young man trying to have fun. Only his friends knew that there was much more to it than just that.

Dorothea still remembered the evening back in high school that had started Sylvain's spiralling into his current state. It was storming like crazy,the rain crashing against the windows being so loud that she hardly heard when the doorbell rang. She went to check who would pay her a visit at a time like that. As soon as she opened the door, Sylvain stared back at her,wet to the bone and shaking. "What happened to you? Did you get caught in the rain?",she asked,concern in her voice. Her friend just shook his head,avoiding direct eye contact. Without any further questions,Dorothea lead him inside,got him a towel and a blanket and then sat him down on the couch with a cup of tea. It was now that she realized his cheeks weren't just red from the rain. Puffy eyes and red spots all across his face suggested that he'd been crying. It was a strange sight,the man who would always smile looking so crushed.  
After a bit of careful asking around,she found out that his girlfriend at the time,who he'd been a lot more serious about than anyone before, had just broken up with him. Told him how she didn't feel bad in the slightest, because after all, he'd been the one breaking people's hearts for a long time before that.

It wasn't like she was entirely wrong with that. Still,his friends knew he wasn't doing it on purpose. The circumstances under which he'd grown up had led him to believe that others never truly wanted him for who he was,but rather were following some ulterior motive,using him to pursue it. He tried being with people,but would cut them off as soon as he felt like something was wrong,hardly even trying to talk it out. He was fast to love people,but even faster to cut them off. Not that it was an excuse for being so reckless with others' hearts,but in the end he was hardly more than a boy who didn't know any better,who had never had anyone to show him that there were other ways to treat problems in a relationship. But after being hurt by the one person he tried really hard with,it only got worse. 

It wasn't exactly hard for him to find people to be with either. His good looks combined with his charme had always made him a magnet for girls,who sometimes would get in literal fights over who would get to flirt with him. Sylvain just enjoyed the attention and the act that came along with it. For him it was so much easier to pretend like he was living the life he wanted than to admit that the direction he was heading towards was less than ideal.

Sylvain wasn't prepared at all when things suddenly began to change. At first it was so subtle that he hardly noticed. He assumed it was just another party he'd attend,flirting with the girls there,getting a little drunk and maybe even take someone home. What he ended up getting was fairly different from that.

-

He was walking next to Yuri and Claude,a few steps behind Hilda and Dorothea,who excitedly whispered to each other. "So,whose party is this again?",Claude asked after a while,not super happy to be dragged out by his friends in the middle of the week. He was by far the most responsible out of their group, actually caring about participating in class and doing at least somewhat well.  
"I believe it's some kid from our college. Not sure what his name was again.",Yuri replied,his arms crossed tightly in front of his chest. It was a pretty cold evening. "If we don't know the guy,how'd we even get invited?",Claude sighed,one eyebrow raised. "Dorothea's crush is friends with the guy.",Sylvain explained, only to be followed by a sharp "She's just a friend!" from Dorothea. The three guys exchanged a few glances. Dorothea was talking non-stop about her "friend" and how pretty and smart she was. "Sure. Sorry.",Sylvain grinned,only to be met with a glare from the brunette.  
"Anyway, I hope we'll be there soon… I'm freezing!",Hilda exclaimed,pulling her jacket even tighter around herself with a dramatic gesture. No one said anything in return, but they all knew that everyone wholeheartedly agreed with her.

-

They arrived soon enough,the apartment door being opened by a blond guy who looked at them a little surprised,not saying anything. His eyes wandered over them,stopping at Dorothea,then widening in realization. "Oh,you're Ingrid's friends. I apologize for the awkward stare just now,please come inside!" He stepped aside with a sheepish smile,letting all of them into the apartment,before following up with a "My name is Dimitri,by the way." The others introduced themselves one by one as they entered. They hadn't even taken off their jackets when a blonde girl came bolting around a corner,pulling a very flushed Dorothea into a bear hug. "Theaaa! I'm so glad you could make it!" Her cheeks were flushed and her stance a little insecure,suggesting that she'd already drank a bit too much. Either way,Dorothea quickly hugged the girl back, suppressing a soft smile. Claude nudged Sylvain's ribs,leaning closer towards him. "Totally _just a friend_ ,right?" Sylvain lowly chuckled in response,giving just a slight nod. Hilda rolled her eyes at them. "You guys are just jealous because she's pretty and you won't have a chance."

They watched as the girl dragged Dorothea away,who beamed with happiness. "I mean,I guess they're kind of cute.",Yuri commented as they disappeared. They all stood in silence for a moment,Dimitri seeming increasingly agitated. He cleared his throat. "Please,follow me to the living room. That's where most of the others are. Can I get you something to drink? Actually,maybe you'd rather see for yourselves what we've got? You can pick whatever you like." They followed him while he kept quietly rambling to himself and soon enough ventured off around the apartment,each with their individual plastic cup in hand. It was a comfortable atmosphere,albeit a little quieter than the parties they usually attended. The music played only faintly in the background,almost overruled by the chatter of several smaller and bigger groups. They found a space to stand and chat as well for a while but began growing bored and eventually separated to move around on their own. First Yuri met an old friend from high school,then Hilda found a cute girl she tried to chat up. When Claude went to grab another drink, Sylvain found himself alone in the sea of people.

It didn't take long until he decided that he'd follow Hilda's example and find a cute girl for himself. He began to fixate on a tall blonde with purple eyes,who struck him as incredibly beautiful. She smiled a lot and always replied in a cheerful sing-song voice. Overall,they got along well and had one of the most interesting conversations he'd had in quite a while. But then again,she seemed like such a kind person. Too kind for him to play around with,without feeling bad for her. As much Sylvain enjoyed toying around with girls,even he had his boundaries. In the end he copped out and instead began wandering around,walking from one room to the other,but never finding anyone else to really hit it off with.

In the end,Sylvain stepped outside on the balcony for a bit of fresh air- and a break from the amount of failed conversations this evening had to offer for him. He soon was reminded how cold it was tonight,as the air hit him. However, inside it had been way too hot for him anyway and by now he'd had enough alcohol to numb him against the low temperatures. He took a moment to take in his surroundings. The buzzing sound of the party inside in contrast to the silence outside. The warm light streaming out of the windows,but quickly getting swallowed by the darkness of the night. A few lights in the distance. The stars and moon in the clear nightsky. The person leaning against the railing-... It was only now that Sylvain fully registered that he wasn't alone. But now that he'd noticed the smaller person in front of him,it was almost impossible to ignore their presence. He wondered if the other had even noticed him yet.

Just as he had formed the thought,he got an answer as a man's voice spoke up. "Are you just gonna stand here and stare like some creep,or what?" The guy now turned his head to glare at Sylvain with a pair of brown eyes that seemed like they belonged to a cat rather than a human. He had an intense look that felt like it was staring right into his soul. A strand of dark hair loosened from the messy bun they had been tucked into,falling into the guy's face from the sudden movement. His glare shifted from Sylvain, now giving his own hair a look of disappointment for ruining his annoyed gesture. Sylvain gave an apologetic smile. "Sorry,I didn't even see you there until just now." "Whatever.",the smaller man huffed and turned back around,his eyes seemingly fixed on the stars above. Sylvain carefully stepped next to him,staring off into the night as well. Before he even noticed it,his eyes were drawn towards the man beside him. He was smaller than Sylvain. If he had to guess he would've said the man was a bit skinnier as well,at least from what he could tell by looking at the man's frame,which was only covered by a thin hoodie. A wave of concern struck Sylvain out of the blue,his mouth speaking on its own. "Dude, aren't you freezing? How long have you been out here?" The guy shrugged. "Fifteen minutes maybe. I'm fine. I don't get cold easily." Sylvain frowned. "You should really get back inside soon." "Isn't this my own decision?" The smaller man glared up at Sylvain,to which he responded with a worried pout. "Sorry,I just thought you might get sick from being in the cold for so long."

He honestly didn't know why he kept debating over this. The guy was right,it was his own decision. He was clearly an -albeit short- adult,who was in no need of Sylvain patronizing him. So why in the world was he so worried all of a sudden? Maybe it was just the alcohol making his brain get weird,or maybe it was something else he couldn't grasp in his current state. Whatever it was,it seemed to be enough to tick the man off. He sighed. "Fine,if you stop pouting at me like a kid whose favourite toy I just broke,I'll get back inside." Sylvain instantly smiled. "See, wasn't that hard,right?" The other sighed and slightly shook his head with an annoyed look,but pushed open the door leading back inside. Sylvain decided to just follow him. He was bored of running around on his own,so he might as well make a new friend- even if it wasn't going to be a hookup,it was better than nothing. "Hey, what's your name?" The guy looked at him for a moment,his eyes wandering all across Sylvain's face (although it felt more like they were wandering through his mind). "It's Felix." "Nice to meet you Felix! I'm Sylvain." He stretched out his hand. "Whatever." Felix didn't shake his hand, instead turning away,pushing through a bunch of people and eventually sitting down on the couch at the other end of the room. Sylvain followed, coming to a stop in front of him,not quite having enough space to sit down himself. The other looked up to him with an irritated expression. " _Why exactly_ are you following me around?"

Good question. "I don't know. You're alone,I'm alone,so I thought it might be nice for both of us to have some company." He shrugged, a sheepish smile on his face _Sheepish? That wasn't like him at all!_. Felix huffed. "I don't need company. I'm good on my own." Despite what he said, after a few moments the man moved over enough for Sylvain to sit down next to him. He sunk into the narrow space,his left knee touching with Felix's right one. They sat in an awkward silence for a bit. _Joke… Joke… Make joke, Sylvain! Anything to break the silence!_  
"I gotta admit, it's not often that I'm this close with another guy." He awkwardly laughed. _Good job,you failed!_  
Felix raised an eyebrow. "Is that how you flirt,or are you just too drunk to realize how weird you are?" "I'm too drunk enough to say weird stuff,but not drunk enough to not notice.",Sylvain admitted. _What in the world is up with you?_  
Felix's eyes sized him up once again, a critical expression planted on his face. "At least you're honest. I give you credit for that." He cracked a smile. Considering the looks Sylvain had gotten before,he wouldn't even have guessed that the man could smile. Considering the awkwardness with which he did it,he probably really didn't do it much. "Say,is this your first time smiling or something? Cuz you kind of suck at it." Felix rolled his eyes,but chuckled. "Maybe. Is this your first time trying not to be annoying? Cuz you kind of suck at it." Sylvain blinked at him in confusion,then cracked up laughing. The other man shook his head,but let out a low laugh as well.

Yes,it may have been different from what Sylvain thought this evening would be. But little did he know it would turn out to be exactly what he needed.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sylvain tries running away from his problems, but it's not easy when your friends keep calling you out on them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I still think Claude and Sylvain could have been grest friends in the game if only they had given us some supports for them. Fight me on it.

It wasn't until a few days after the party that Sylvain was reminded of Felix again. They had gotten along really well that night, but he'd honestly thought that would be the extent of it. A nice stranger he'd never meet again. With that in mind,he'd quickly written the whole evening off as an event of the past that he would never think about again. Except that right now he sat in a small coffee shop with his friends,casually joking around,when Dorothea nudged his shoulder. "By the way, how's your little friend from the party last week doing?" He looked at her, confusion painted on his face as clear as day,until it dawned on him. "Oh,that guy?",he laughed,overplaying how surprised he was that they were even bringing him up again,"I haven't heard from him since. We didn't exchange numbers or anything." "I'm impressed you even noticed,honestly.",Claude chimed in,taking a sip from his coffee while staring at Dorothea, both eyebrows raised. Dorothea raised an eyebrow back. "And by that you mean _what exactly_?" "Oh,I think you know _very well_ what I mean.",the other man grinned. The brunette girl put on her sweetest smile. "Nope,no idea. Would you be so kind as to tell me?" Claude shrugged. "If you insist. What I meant was that you were so preoccupied with your girlfriend-" "SHE'S **NOT** MY GIRLFRIEND!" "-that I didn't think you would have noticed what Sylvain and his little friend were doing."

Claude ducked away laughing as both,Dorothea and Hilda,reached out to smack him. Yuri chuckled. "One day you'll get yourself killed by them,Claude. Mark my words." Hilda nodded. “Yeah, you better watch out or it might happen sooner than you expect.” Dorothea just shook her head at him, clicking her tongue,before she turned back to Sylvain. “Moving on from Claude being an idiot. What do you mean you haven’t heard from him since? It looked like you really made a friend there.” Sylvain shrugged. “There was a lot of alcohol running through my blood, okay? I pretty much left my brain at the doorstep when we entered that party, so don’t think I made rational decisions.” “Oh, don’t worry, not for a second I expected you to be rational.”, Dorothea mumbled, followed by Hilda laughing loudly. Sylvain sighed, choosing to just ignore the comment. “Why do you even care that much about it?” The brunette shrugged. “It’s been a while since I saw you actually opening up to someone other than us.” “I was just drunk, really.”, he waved it off. “You _did_ prefer talking to that guy over flirting with all the pretty girls around at the party.”, Yuri interjected. “It just didn’t work with any of the girls there. Doesn’t matter now, guys. It’s over, I didn’t get his number, my drunk ass hardly even remembers his name or what he looked like, there’s nothing to be done about it now.” Sylvain let out a flustered sigh. Part of that had been a lie. The guy's face was still very much imprinted on his memory. He just wanted the conversation to move on. Dorothea put a gentle hand on his arm. “Sorry for being pushy. But, just so you know, if you want to, I could ask Ingrid. She knew most people at the party, so maybe she could help find that guy too?” Sylvain shook his head. “It’s fine. I’m sure you and Ingrid have better things to do in the time you spend together than finding some guy I talked to.” He grinned and ducked away from the hands flying his way while the other guys quietly chuckled. “I try to help you and this is the thanks I get.”, Dorothea said, making her voice sound overly disappointed. However,the smile on her lips indicated that she wasn’t actually mad, so Sylvain just smiled back. “Damn right it is.”

-

They left the cafe around three in the afternoon, but Sylvain didn’t get home until the sky was beginning to take on a hint of light purple. There was nothing waiting for him, so he preferred to just stroll around town aimlessly.  
Still, he eventually had to return, being greeted by the heavy silence of his apartment. The only sounds were the ones he made himself, as he stepped inside, set his keys down and took off his jacket. Sometimes he was tempted to yell “I’m home!”, just to know what it felt like. Just to experience it once. Back when he still lived with his family, he’d preferred to stay quiet. His parents would only ask questions about school, pestering him with their high expectations, and his brother would only get angry at him for the smallest things -You’re too loud, you’re too late, you should have been here to help me with chores-, so he always tried not to make a sound and just hide away in his room for most of the day. He didn’t miss those times. Just the feeling of his home being somewhat alive. The feeling of another presence, beside his own. Anything to fill the emptiness in this place.

Sylvain wandered around his apartment, not sure of what to do. His books were laid out on his desk, yelling at him to study- _No, I can’t concentrate on that today!_ His guitar sat in a corner, gathering dust- _I haven’t played in ages, I’ll be totally out of it and it will just be frustrating._ A pile of clothes sat on the floor, waiting to be taken care of- _Come on, are you really desperate enough to consider **doing chores** now?_  
In the end, he settled for cooking -not that he had a lot at home to use-, since he felt himself growing hungry anyway. He was happy with that decision, having finally found something to pass the time. He made a mental note to cook more often. This definitely was healthier **and** tastier than the frozen pizzas he ate most of the time. Then again, it was so much effort for just one person, he wondered if it was really worth it. At least he had some proper food for now, that already was a win on its own.

He went to bed a lot earlier than usual, just not wanting to bear with the lonely feeling any longer. However, instead of falling asleep he ended up just lying awake for hours, staring off into the darkness. He could hear cars pass by, once in a while a person shouting from somewhere -on the street, from another apartment, he couldn’t tell-, until he eventually drifted off into nothingness.

-

When Sylvain walked on campus the next morning, he was greeted by a “No offense, but you look absolutely terrible.”, from Yuri. The others just nodded in agreement. “Thanks, I feel absolutely terrible too.” The redhead tried cracking a smile, but was only met by concerned stares. “Man,are you okay?” Hilda finally spoke out the question they’d all been meaning to ask. Sylvain looked at her, a little caught off guard. “What? Yeah, I’m fine. Just didn’t sleep too well, that’s all.” “You haven’t been sleeping well a lot lately, have you?” Claude raised an eyebrow. The redhead shrugged. “No idea what you're implying. I’m fine. We should head to class now.” He turned around and started walking. His friends exchanged a few doubting glances, then reluctantly began heading to their own classes. Claude caught up to Sylvain with a light jog. _Right, we have our first lecture together. Completely forgot about that._  
“Are you sure you’re alright?”, his friend asked once again. “I wouldn’t know why I shouldn’t be alright, Claude. I’m great, really.” “Well, if you say so. I won’t force you to talk about anything, just know that all of us are ready to support you in any way possible.” Sylvain finally managed to turn his lips into a genuine smile. “I know, Thank you guys, I’ll reach out to you when I need anything. But for now, there’s nothing I can’t deal with by myself.”

Claude somehow managed to talk Sylvain into joining him at the library after class. They sat at a large wooden table, surrounded by gigantic bookshelves,more tables and other students. “I can’t believe you’re so dedicated to studying.”, Sylvain groaned after twenty minutes of him staring blankly at the same two pages,while Claude had practically been running through his books and taking notes. “I can’t believe you’re not.” His friend didn’t look up from the sheet of paper in front of him,on which he was scribbling a few letters. “Remember how much effort you put into high school to get here? Your past self would be livid if he saw you now.” As he finished his sentence, he finally glanced up at Sylvain, who replied by letting his head sink against the cold surface of the table, staring back at the other man. “I just don’t really feel it, you know?” “If you’re not vibing enough with the library, go home and study there.” “ _Vibing_?” Sylvain raised an eyebrow. “Is my choice of words the only thing you’ll respond to?” “It’s worse at home.”,he admitted.  
Claude set his pen aside, resting his chin on one hand. “What’s so bad about your apartment?” “It’s… Too quiet?” He wasn’t really sure himself. “Try music.” Sylvain shook his head. “That’s not helping either. It’s so quiet, you can practically feel it.”

His friend sighed,giving him a long look. “Is that why you can’t sleep either?” The redhead nodded. “You know, I think your problem is you don’t like being alone. You go with us to every party you can, you take people home left and right, and if you can’t find someone, you avoid going back to your apartment altogether.” Sylvain considered the other’s words for a while. “Maybe you’re right.” “Of course. I’m always right.”, Claude grinned. “If you’re so all-knowing, please just tell me what to do.” Sylvain gave him a pleading look,knowing too well that Claude wouldn't be able to solve his problems either. But,being the guy he was,he still tried. The other man went quiet,lost in thought for a while. "Less parties and acquaintances and more meaningful relationships?",he then suggested. Sylvain raised a questioning eyebrow. His friend elaborated. "You meet so many people,but I don't think you've made a single new friend ever since we left high school. So maybe you should try to make new friends,rather than searching for people to take home for one night before never hearing from them again."

Sylvain let out a long sigh. _Of course, he's right again. How annoying._ He realized that he didn't actually like finding solutions to his problems. It was a lot easier to just wallow in self pity and go on like he always did. Easier to change nothing and just pretend like he was happy about how things went,so noone else would get worried. Claude stared at him,eyebrows raised. "You're going to dismiss every single word of what I just said, won't you?" He got him right there. "Nooo,I just… Need time to think about what you said." A cheap excuse. Both of them knew that. However,Claude was gracious enough to not call him out on it. _This man deserves some praise._ "Do me a favor and think about it while you're lying awake in that quiet apartment of yours,yeah?",his friend smirked. _On second thought,forget about the praise. He's evil._ "Fine,fine. You're right. I'll… Try making new friends. Happy now?" Claude shrugged. "I'm not forcing you. I'm just saying it could help you." "And you're probably right about it.", Sylvain sighed. "Of course. I'm always right."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My Claude favouritism shows,oop :^)


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sylvain has to realize that making new Friends isn't quite as easy as it sounds.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, that took me long enough to write. I had a few difficulties trying to make this work, but I think it turned out alright in the end. Hopefully the next chapters will be easier :)

Making new friends was a lot harder than Sylvain had remembered it to be. He sat at a table, fidgeting with his hands, while Yuri next to him was about to lose his mind. The blonde across from them awkwardly blinked at him. Maybe mentioning that she was as beautiful as a flower wasn’t the right way to start out a new friendship. Mental note taken. “Sorry.”, he muttered, averting his eyes. Yuri facepalmed. “This is just a friendly reminder: We’re not finding you a new _girlfriend_ ,Sylvain.” “Yeah, right. Seems I forgot that for a moment. Can we start over?”  
The girl sighed, taking a moment to glare first at Sylvain, then at Yuri. “I _suppose_. I will just pretend that didn’t happen and introduce myself once again. Hi, my name is Constance Nuvelle, it’s a pleasure to meet you. And you are?” _Interested in getting to know a beauty like yo-... No, you idiot._ “I’m Sylvain. Nice to meet you too.” Silence. Yuri looked like he was in physical pain from what he had witnessed over the past ten minutes. “Is that all you guys have to say to each other?” Sylvain shrugged. Constance shifted around on her chair. Yuri let out an exasperated sigh. “This is going _great_.”, he then exclaimed in the most sarcastic tone Sylvain had ever heard. “You know what, just talk about the damn weather, just to break this silence.”, his friend then suggested, sounding desperate. Sylvain threw a glance outside. The same grey winter weather they’d had over the past few months. “Well uh… I hope it gets warmer soon. I kind of miss the sunny days.”, he awkwardly muttered. Constance bit her lip, staring out the window as well. “Really? I quite like this weather. I don’t particularly enjoy being out in the sun.”, she then noted. “I see…”, Sylvain trailed off. She slowly nodded, followed by a dragged out “Yeahhhh…”. Yuri threw himself back into his seat, his face buried in his hands. “I give up. This isn’t working at all.” 

Soon after, they left from a greatly disappointing meeting, that had resulted in Yuri profusely apologizing to his friend for having wasted her time, and Sylvain profusely apologizing to Yuri for failing him like this. “That was a total disaster!”, He finally exclaimed, after they’d been walking in silence for a while.  
“Oh really? Thanks for letting me know, I wouldn't have realized otherwise.”, Yuri sighed, burying his hands inside of his pockets, after running them over his face.  
“It seems like I kind of… Forgot how to have a normal conversation.”, Sylvain admitted in defeat, eyes locked onto the ground as he reflected on the disastrous conversation he had just had. Yuri looked at him, thinking for a moment.  
“You’re always putting up that flirty act of yours. There’s really no need for that when you’re trying to make friends, you know?”, he finally noted, his voice now softer than previously  
“I know. But it’s hard to lay down that behaviour I’ve gotten so used to. I mean, that’s how I’ve been talking to people for months now, and it always did the trick..”, Sylvain explained. “That may be true, bust usually you’re out for someone to take home for the night or whatever, not someone to build an actual friendship with. You don’t usually talk to friends like you’re planning to screw them. Of course it won’t work out if you always act like that.”, Yuri noted, to which Sylvain could only reply with a shrug and a _very_ apologetic smile. His friend shook his head in mild disappointment, but also looked confused.  
“You can talk to me like a normal person. Same for the rest of our friend group. You hardly ever act _this_ awkward around us..”, he then observed. Sylvain took a moment to think on that statement. It wasn’t wrong. However, there was a significant difference between strangers and the people he’d been friends with for longer than he could remember.  
“Yeah, but I’ve known you guys for a long time. When I meet a stranger, it’s always this awkwardness taking over. I don’t know what they want to hear from me, how they will behave, what they would like to talk about.”, he finally replied, saying out loud the conclusion he had just come to.  
“That’s something you can figure out as you go. Noone knows what the other is thinking, especially when it’s the first time meeting them... Come on, I don’t have to explain to you how conversations work! When we were in high school, you were the one always dragging along new people. You were friends with everyone.”, Yuri reminded him. Sylvain went completely quiet as he thought about how different things had been not too long ago. In fact, it hadn’t been more than a few months, but it had been enough for Sylvain to spiral down to where he was now. _Well, that went concerningly quick…_ Then again, how great had these high school “friends” of his really been?  
“But was I really? In the end, you guys are the only friends I’m still in contact with. Listen, I don’t know. It’s not that easy. Maybe I should give up.”, Sylvain sighed, staring down at his feet hitting the pavement, while his confidence crumbled down with every word he spoke.  
“Forget it! Giving up is not the solution we’re going for. Let’s rather call in for a crisis meeting with the others.”, Yuri quickly suggested, before his friend would lose hope completely.  
“Is that really necessary?” Sylvain whined. He really didn’t feel like bothering his friends with this again, let alone having them hear about what a mess he had truly become. No matter how understanding and supportive his friends were, he just felt embarrassed to admit it even to himself.  
“Yes. Yes, It is.”. Yuri insisted in a serious tone, grabbing his friend’s hand before he could even try to get away.

“You’re really doing that badly, huh?”, Claude asked, more or less surprised to hear about how the attempt to make a new friend went. He’d known that Sylvain wasn’t doing great (After all, it had been him to first suggest all of this), but his friend’s actual state seemed to surprise even him.  
“Yeah. It’s terrible.”, Sylvain admitted, slumped over in his seat and averting his eyes.  
“Now, come on, it can’t be that bad! You can still talk to people normally!”, Hilda noted in a soft voice, resting one hand on the redhead’s arm in an attempt to comfort him.  
“I can’t. Ask Yuri. It was a disaster.”, Sylvain whined, while Yuri nodded slowly. “I hate to say it, but yeah. There’s no way around it. It’s looking pretty rough. He managed to bring Constance into an awkward silence, which, trust me, is not an easy task. On second thought, maybe I should bring you around more often.” He added the last part with a chuckle.  
“That meeting today was not what I was referring to.”, Hilda insisted, now crossing her arms.  
“Then what did you mean?”, Yuri asked, snapping out of his previous thoughts.  
“He was able to talk to that guy at the party normally, wasn’t he?”, the pink-haired girl observed.  
Sylvain didn’t want the conversation to wander in that direction once again. “I was drunk.”, he reminded her. “I mean, if the guy was able to endure your drunk self, he’d probably be able to handle sober Sylvain just as well, if not even better.”, Claude teased. Sylvain shot him a deathglare, but decided not to grant his friend the satisfaction of further acknowledging his comment. “Claude does have a point.”, Dorothea chimed in, after having been quietly looking at her phone with an occasional nod for most of their conversation. Sylvain’s glare now wandered to her instead. She raised her hands in a defensive gesture. “Let me elaborate before you jump at me like that. I’m just saying, drunk Sylvain says a lot of weird things and if that didn’t scare the dude away, nothing will. It can’t get more awkward than your drunk jokes.” “I’m still salty, but will admit you may be right.”, Sylvain pouted, crossing his arms. Claude and Dorothea exchanged triumphant glances. “However”, he continued, “I still have no idea who the guy is. So even if I got along with him, I would have to find him first, which I really wouldn’t know how to do. We also don’t know if he’s even interested in making friends. If I remember things right, he wasn’t super outgoing at that party either. Even my persistent drunk self almost failed at convincing him to let me talk to him.” Hilda shrugged. “You’re just as annoyingly persistent in your sober state, so if it worked once, it will work again.” Sylvain sighed. “Are you guys just choosing to ignore the fact that I have no idea who he is?” His friends blinked at him. Wordlessly, Dorothea picked up her phone and began typing, before turning it to show the screen to him. 

**“Hey Ingrid, could you help my friend find a guest from your party?”** , the typed out message read. “Want me to press send?”, the brunette then asked, one eyebrow raised. Sylvain bit his lip. He didn’t want his friends to go through all that trouble just to find a single person. In the end, it probably wouldn’t be worth all that fuzz they were going through. _Then again, hadn’t they been the ones pushing him to try and find the guy again from the very start? At this point, there was no way they would just let loose._ Finally, he nodded. “It’s worth a try. I suppose.”


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sylvain is making significant progress in finding out more about the person he met.
> 
> Featuring: Dorothea and Ingrid being pining messes for each other

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, this one is a little more on the Shorter side, but I hope to be able to publish another chapter *very* soon, so it shouldn't be too bad… right?

Ingrid struck Sylvain as a rather interesting person. He was sure about that that the moment she entered the café in which Dorothea had set up their meeting. Her long blonde hair waved from side to side with each quick step she took. What fascinated him the most was the fact that she wasn’t particularly dolled up -really, she seemed to be wearing no make-up at all-, but she had a natural kind of beauty on her. She greeted them with a smile and gave Dorothea a hug, before pulling back a chair and dropping down on it. Sylvain decided that yes, he could definitely understand why his friend had been so swept away by this girl. Or maybe his judgement was just clouded, after already having spent twenty minutes next to Dorothea, who had been gushing over the girl for pretty much the entire time, barely able to hold in her excitement.  
Ingrid interrupted his train of thought when she extended a hand out to him. “Hey, I’m Ingrid. It’s nice to meet you!” _Pull yourself together, Sylvain. Your promised yourself you wouldn’t be awkward today. Just act like a normal human being_. Dorothea elbowed him underneath the table. He quickly smiled, shaking her hand. “I’m Sylvain. Thanks for taking the time to do this.” He noticed how cold her hands were and started wondering, if it was from having walked outside, or if she just naturally had cold hand. _No, don’t get sidetracked._

The blonde pulled her hand back and nodded. “Of course… Anything to help Dorothea..’s friends.” A smile ghosted over her lips, while her cheeks took on a slight shade of pink. It perfectly mirrored the blush appearing on Dorothea’s face as she heard the blonde speak. He decided to give them both a moment to pull themselves together rather than being nervous messes for one another. Watching them like that, Sylvain felt his chest tighten just a little bit. He had almost completely forgotten what it felt like to have genuine feelings for someone else. It had been so long since he last was in love with someone, that the feeling of it was hardly more than a faint memory. _Maybe- just maybe- he missed it. A little. At least in this moment, he did. But who wouldn’t, upon seeing two people so hopelessly in love with each other?_  
When she noticed Sylvain still sitting there across from them, Ingrid snapped back into reality. She quickly cleared her throat and turned to face him again, trying to be nonchalant about the girl’s interaction just now. He decided that he’d wait until later to tease Dorothea about it. No need to pull Ingrid into this. “Alright, let’s get to why we’re here. I’m sure you don’t want to just sit around here in silence, right?”, she nervously laughed, “I’m pretty sure I know most of the people who attended that party, and if I don’t, I should definitely know someone who does. In other words, it shouldn’t be too hard to find whoever you’re looking for. Let’s start with the easiest thing: What was the guy’s name?” Sylvain already knew that he didn’t remember, but he at least acted like he was thinking hard about it for a few seconds. Not that it was of any use. He’d always been bad with names, especially when he’s been intoxicated at the time of learning them. “I can’t remember.”, he admitted, an usual sheepishness coating his voice. Ingrid shrugged. “It was worth a try, I suppose.” “Maybe explain what he looked like?”, Dorothea suggested.

Sylvain nodded. That would be a lot easier. The entire night was a blur to him, but the one thing that stood out like nothing else was the man’s face. It had been stuck on his mind ever since “Alright, let’s see… He had dark hair. Probably black? I’m not sure, the lighting was a little weird, so it could’ve been any other dark colour as well. He was also shorter than me… On second thought, I guess I’m kind of tall, so I don’t know if that’s super helpful. There are probably a lot of people who are shorter than me? There wasn’t really much more I could make out, like I said, the lighting wasn’t the best...” When he finished, he realized he had started to ramble. Just as Sylvain was about to apologize, his eyes fell onto Ingrid, who sat there, highly concentrated. Her eyebrows were drawn together, while she stared at the fake-flowers sitting in the middle of the table. Her fingers were absentmindedly fidgeting with the tablecloth. Finally, she shook her head, confusion rushing over her face. “Say, he didn’t happen to have long hair, did he?” Sylvain’s eyes widened. _How did not mention that before?_ He eagerly nodded. “Yes, I believe he put it together in a bun or something.” The blonde looked even more puzzled.

“What’s wrong?”, Dorothea asked, a hint of worry in her voice. Ingrid quickly shook her head, waving it off. “It’s nothing, really. I was just a little confused, because the only person coming to my mind isn’t exactly one to strike up a friendly conversation. In fact, he actually tends to avoid people, especially on parties.” Sylvain tilted his head. “Well, when I ran into him he was standing all alone in the dark on the balcony. I doubt he was really looking for a conversation. I kind of just chewed his ear off until he gave in and talked to me. But later he looked like he didn’t mind it too much, so I just kind of assumed he was happy to have a conversation too.”, Sylvain elaborated. Ingrid chuckled. “Well, that’s definitely interesting. Could it have been Felix?”

Finally, it came back to Sylvain. His face lit up into a wide smile. “Yes! Felix! That was his name. I remember now.” What previously had been a chuckle from Ingrid now turned into full-on laughter. “However did you manage to do that? Usually, when someone tries to chat Felix up, he just flips them off and locks himself inside his room.”, she explained, her voice full of amazement. Dorothea giggled. “You make it sound as if Sylvain just performed some sort of miracle.” Ingrid quickly nodded. “He pretty much did. Felix and I have known each other since we were little kids, but even for me it’s almost impossible to have an actual conversation with him. Just imagine that! The guy is my roommate, and sometimes I hardly hear a single word from him for several days. And now Sylvain is just sitting here and trying to tell me how great he and Felix were getting along. Really, I’m amazed.”

Sylvain cracked a smile. “Maybe he just couldn’t resist my staggering charme?” He was met with an unimpressed glare from Dorothea. “More like your staggering annoyance.” He pouted at his friend, however, he quickly realized that she didn’t even notice. Dorothea was far too busy with glancing over at Ingrid to see if she had laughed at her joke. The blonde chuckled, self-consciously pushing a strand of hair behind her ear as she looked back at Dorothea. _Oh, to be hopelessly in love with someone!_  
After an exchange of admiring glances, that left Sylvain awkwardly sitting there, fidgeting with his hands, the girls somehow managed to break their eye contact again. Ingrid took a deep breath, then smiled at Sylvain like nothing had happened. “Well, whatever it is that made Felix get along with you so well, I think it would be great if you guys talked again. It’s about time he makes some new friends… Uhm, don’t tell him I said that.” Sylvain smiled. “Sure, I’d be happy to talk to him. After all, that’s what we came here for, right? To make that possible.” The blonde quickly nodded. “I’ll talk to him and see if I can arrange something. But, knowing Felix, I’ll just issue this as a fair warning: No promises that he will actually agree to it.” The man replied with a grateful nod. “Still, if you could try, that would be great!”


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Turns out Sylvain isn't the only one whose friends keep pushing him to meet new people.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been really Refreshing to write from a different perspective, I'm pretty much full of ideas on how to continue now.
> 
> That being said, School starts again on Monday and finals are coming up, so we'll see how much I'll be able to write. I'll definitely try my best though.

Felix was lying on his bed, the blanket lazily draped over his feet. One hand was scrolling through his phone, while the other was absentmindedly brushing over Mira’s fur. The former stray cat gave him adoring gazes and loud purrs, quite enjoying the attention. Felix shot her a quick, soft smile, almost too small to even notice. He hadn’t genuinely smiled at anyone in quite some time, but when it was just Mira and him, he would sometimes allow himself to let his guard down for a little bit. A while ago he had -more or less secretly- taken her in, after months of feeding her through his window. Not that it had taken too long for Dimitri and Ingrid to notice their new roommate. After a few days of pretending to not be okay with her staying with them, they had both had to give in, unable to resist her cuteness any longer. Eventually, they had even started to bring down food and small toys for her, treating her pretty much like a queen. At this point, Felix’s room was practically buried in cat toys that Mira only occasionally acknowledged. Not that he would have cared too much about whether or not his roommates agreed with him keeping Mira anyway. When the weather had started getting colder, Felix didn’t have much of a choice. What kind of person would he have been, had he just left her to freeze out there? If the others had disagreed with keeping her, he just would have had to hide her away in his room. Although he had admit that it was nicer this way, with her being able to roam freely around the apartment. 

Noticing how his eyes were growing tired, he took a moment to look up from his phone. He was met with darkness. The sun must have started to set quite a while ago, because at this point, there wasn’t much more left aside from a faint, distant glow. However, Felix really couldn’t be bothered to get up and turn on the light. In fact, he actually preferred to be in his semi-dark room, his phone screen and the faint blue sheen of the sky providing all the light he needed. On most days -including this one- he wouldn’t even notice the spreading darkness at all, until he looked up and was met with nothing but black. On other days it was until one of his friends barged in to talk to him, commented on how dark it was, and flipped on the light switch. Those were the more annoying days. Felix insisted that the lamp in his room was way too bright for anyone to be comfortable (which would usually resort in the others calling him a vampire).  
While the increasing darkness couldn’t convince him to get up, the sudden growling of his stomach definitely did. It was now that he realized he hadn’t actually eaten anything since breakfast. _Better eat now, before Ingrid got home and scolded him for neglecting his own health. One of her favourite lectures to hold for him._ With a groan he set his phone aside and got up from the bed, much to his cat’s dismay. He gave her one last pat on the head, before quietly dragging his feet over into the kitchen. There, he found Dimitri, lost in thought as he stared into his college books. Felix was positive that his friend hadn’t even noticed his presence yet. He seemed to be way too concentrated on whatever it was he was studying for at the moment. Not that Felix cared too much. He wasn’t really up for a conversation right now- or ever.  
It was only when his friend heard the fridge door open and close, that he sat up straight and frantically looked around the room, ready to jump at whoever had intruded their home. When he realized that it was only Felix, his shoulders immediately relaxed and he began laughing nervously. “Goodness, Felix, you scared me!”, he exclaimed, “I thought you were…” “An intruder raiding the fridge?”, Felix interrupted, staring back at the other man with a blank expression. Dimitri shrugged as he set his pen aside and turned to fully face Felix. He gave him an apologetic smile. “I just got startled. You’re really quiet, Felix, sometimes I’m not even sure if you’re home or not.” He didn’t say it out loud, but he was definitely happy that Felix was talking to him, although he couldn’t quite tell if his roommate was glad Felix wasn’t ignoring him, or if he just searched for an excuse to interrupt his studying. Whichever it was, Felix, wasn’t planning on expanding their conversation much more than he already had. “Well, I am now.”, he pointed out, taking a bite out of the left-over sandwich he’d pulled out of the fridge and shrugging. “And now I’m leaving. Bye.”, he then proclaimed before Dimitri would try and keep talking to him, hurrying back to his room, food in hand.

Just as he was about to slip back into the darkness of his room, the apartment door opened, followed by Ingrid stepping inside. For a split second Felix contemplated on just disappearing before she would notice him, but instead he decided to greet her by making eye contact and giving her the hint of a nod- acknowledging her presence, so he could hide away in peace for the rest of the evening without any annoying “I haven’t seen you all day!”- talks later on. Ingrid responded to his greeting with a cheerful “Hello, Felix!” as she took off her jacket, scarf and boots, a gentle smile resting on her lips. Felix knew that look on her too well. After all, he’d seen his friend like that a lot lately. _She definitely met with that girl she like today. What was her name again? Donatella? Dorothy? Dorothea? He couldn’t remember for the life of him._ “You stayed out pretty late with your… girlfriend today.”, he observed. Ingrid shook her head with a chuckle. “She’s not my girlfriend, Felix.”, she corrected him. “If you say so.” “And well, yeah, we had some things to discuss that took longer than I expected.” “Ah yes, I’m sure you _discussed_ a lot of things.”, Felix responded with a firm nod and just enough sarcasm in his voice for the girl to shoot glare at him. Not waiting for her to respond, he slipped back into his room and shut the door, taking another bite out of his sandwich.

Mira barely lifted her head as he dropped down onto the bed next to her again. She’d clearly been asleep for the entirety of the time he was gone, and returned to sleeping right after acknowledging him with a short meow. Felix pulled the blanket over his legs and grabbed his phone, aimlessly looking through social media again. Not that there was anything particularly interesting. Ingrid had posted a picture of her and her _friend_ from earlier that day (Seeing the person she had tagged, Felix took a mental note that her name, indeed, was _Dorothea_ ). Mercedes had blogged about her favourite cookie recipes (He saved the post, lying to himself that he’d try these out at some point). Annette had sent him a funny cat video, which he couldn’t be bothered to reply to at the moment.  
It took about ten minutes before his sacred alone-time was disrupted when Ingrid barged in, throwing the door wide open. “Gee, Felix, it’s dark in here!”, she commented, switching on the light before he got the chance to stop her. “What do you want?”, he hissed, squinting his eyes at the sudden burst of light. “Talk.” Ingrid smiled as she stepped inside and closed the door behind her. _At least she didn’t leave it standing wide open like usually._ “I’m busy.” “Doesn’t look like you are.” _Maybe she’d go away if he just ignored her?_ Ingrid jumped on the bed next to him, greeting Mira with a few strokes of her fur, accompanied by some muttered, loving words. _Guess not._ “Fine. What is it?”, he grumbled. Ingrid cut right to the point. “I think you should make a new friend.”, she suggested. Felix blankly stared back. “Well, you see, I met someone today who would love to become your friend.”, the girl elaborated. “Thanks, but no thanks. We’ve been over this. I don’t need any new friends. I have enough friends.” “You have me and Dimitri, and even the two of us hardly get to see you. Despite living in the same apartment.”, Ingrid noted. He was about to open his mouth to protest, but she cut him off. “Annette doesn’t count. You haven’t seen her since high school. You just exchange cat pictures once every few months. Same with Mercedes. You just follow her for the recipes, which you never even try out.” Felix shut his mouth again with a slight pout. “Whatever. I’m not interested.” Ingrid gave him a sad look. For a moment he thought she’d get into one of her lectures about how friends were important, again. To his relief, she refrained from that. Not that the reaction she gave him was any better. A mischievous grin appeared on her face as she spoke her next words. “Are you _sure_? Because I’ve been told that you and the person I’m talking about got along _very well_ at our party a few weeks ago.”

It took Felix a few seconds of thinking back to the party to remember who she was talking about. It had to be that annoying redhead. He had been avoiding everyone else on that day. “Wherever did you dig _that_ guy up? Weren’t you with your gi-... Friend?” Ingrid chuckled. “I was. Well, it turns out he’s one of Thea’s best friends. He just so happens to be in a situation where he could use some new friends in his life -Just like you, by the way- and from what I’ve been told, you guys got along _exceptionally_ well!” Felix took a deep breath. “I suppose I decided to endure the guy for a little while.”, he admitted. Although from the smile that spread across Ingrid’s face, one could have thought that he had just told her he’d met his soulmate that night. “Felix, that’s great!”, she exclaimed happily. He shrugged. “We just had a conversation, that’s all. Doesn’t mean I want to be his bff now or anything.” Ingrid smiled warmly. “Noone expects that from but. But it does sound to me like he’s pretty much the first person you haven’t just pushed away as soon as you met them,ever since-” “It wasn’t that big of a deal.”, he cut her off. “No need to start bringing _that_ into it.” Ingrid gave him a soft smile, paired with an understanding nod. “Alright, I get it, you don’t think it’s anything special. But, all I’m saying is that maybe it would be good for you to try finally making new friends. I’m sure he wouldn’t have wanted you to isolate yourself forever.”  
Felix bit his lip and stared down at his hands. He hadn’t noticed how tightly he’d been grabbing onto his phone until he saw the skin under his nails whitening from it. He took a deep breath. He didn’t want to talk about this. Not with Ingrid, and not with anyone else. “You don’t know that.”, he argued, “Now, if there’s nothing else you have to say, I’d appreciate it if you left me alone.” Ingrid was hesitant for a moment, but then she nodded. As she left the room with a softly muttered “Sorry.”, Felix felt a little bad. Deep inside he knew she only meant well. She’d been trying to help him ever since it had happened, and all he had been doing was push her -and everyone else, for that matter- away.  
Another deep breath. He grabbed Mira and pulled her closer to his chest, burying his nose in the soft fur. _Stupid._ He knew Ingrid was right. His brother would probably feel terrible if he saw Felix hiding away in his room from everyone like this. And after all, isolation wasn’t going to bring him back either. It only made things worse in the long run. His brain was painfully aware of that, but his heart still kept crying out. _What if he decided to grow close with someone and they would leave as well?_ He didn’t want to go through all of that pain once again. It was better not to be close with anyone at all, so there was noone to hurt him by leaving. He couldn’t deal with losing someone close to him. Never again.


End file.
